The addition of children and the pressure that introduced was another nail in the coffin of our sex life. Sex was reduced to a one-off thing at Christmas or birthdays. Years of neglect with seemingly no resolution in sight made me despondent. I began to feel resentment towards my wife and her unwillingness to engage with sex.
I withdrew and the romance dried up. We went from being best friends to people who cohabit — the bitterness was palpable on both sides.
Meet The Women Secretly Suffering In Sexless Marriages Women who want their husbands to want them feel a specific kind of shame. On the contrary, many women struggle in sexless marriages. And yes, I am talking about toys, new positions, new places and unexpected.
This year a colleague and I had a short-lived affair. While it lasted it was wonderful and fulfilling to be valued and desired again. The affair ended when my wife found out, and we decided to give our marriage another try. If we can get past this hurdle we will then begin to work on finding a solution to our very different sexual ideals. The intimacy and connection it brings helps me to feel loved and in love.
Our love life tapered off a while before that, with him rejecting me a number of times, until we both just stopped even trying. We get on well and enjoy our time together but there is no intimacy. I talk about having children and he says it will happen one day — but when I ask how, he changes the subject. Sometimes I want to get a divorce or can we have our marriage annulled? If we ignore the sex thing, our relationship is solid.
I had sex with an old friend a few months ago. It was my first time in eight years.
I am confused. Maybe sex is just something we could or should enjoy with other people. I imagine that in practice that would be very hard to cope with, though. I have sex with my wife 10 times a year or less. We were in our mids when we met, and we are an attractive couple, but she believes that sex should just be for reproductive purposes. Not only that, but she has a low sex drive. It has affected my marriage greatly, to an extent that we go to bed with our backs turned.
I came out with my issues one night. I know that sex is one of, if not the most important factors in a marriage.
You need to find new ways to please your partner. I just hope no one has to go through what I am going through. Try to be patient, but this only gets you so far. I am considering a sex therapist, but I am not sure how my wife will react to that. We continue to live together, but we have separate rooms and have had a sexless marriage for over two years.
We have tried marriage counselling. At times it feels like we are making progress, but two or three years ago there was a sense of resignation perhaps from both of us and it has been no sex, no counselling, no real effort to rejuvenate the relationship — just a focus on making the household work and co-parenting our much-loved boys. There is now no intimacy. Perhaps I could have made a more consistent effort to be affectionate and caring and open, but we were stuck in a cycle; she would be critical of so much of what I did and the criticisms would make me withdrawn.
Counselling was some small help for a while, but I think all those efforts are exhausted. Neither of us are suggesting that we go back. The effort now is to have a workable non-sexual, non-intimate, functioning relationship where the boys can grow up loved and secure. My partner and I have been together for eight years.
We last had sex four and a half years ago.
My early efforts to initiate sex were unsuccessful; if anything, they made things worse, as I invariably felt rejected. If I voice my unhappiness she becomes upset and feels guilty, so I try not to mention it. I have suggested relationship counselling, but my partner does not believe it will help — she insists the problem is with her self-esteem and body image, not our relationship. She has a number of long-standing medical issues and is reluctant to seek advice regarding her lack of interest in sex.
We love each other and want to be together, but from time to time I feel lonely and undesirable, despite her assurances that she still finds me attractive. I suspect my frustration sometimes manifests as irritation or impatience in response to unrelated, relatively minor matters.
It depends on the individuals involved. Last year we had sex six times. This year it was once. So yes, I am in a sexless marriage. Even in the three years before we got married 15 years ago, I realised that we had different sex drives. I practically had to beg my husband to make love to me on our wedding night. Yet I married him because I love him and so I take responsibility for my decision.
Over the years I have begged, cajoled, threatened, shouted, cried and done everything to make him aware of how I feel. Please update your billing information. The subscription details associated with this account need to be updated.
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